What!? You're not dead!?

No, I am alive, I just had a really, really awful month!

Seriously, November was the month of death for me, both emotionally and, in some ways, literally. However, I am feeling much better now and my karma seems to have gone back to normal. Interestingly, I figured out what was wrong with me emotionally a few days ago in my Intercultural Communication class. The subject: cross-cultural adjustment curves. Apparently, when a person travels to a foreign country, they experience sort of an adjustment cycle; their mood goes up at first 'cause everything is very exciting and new and "I'm so cool for being an international!". And then they dive. Like, flat out Deep Dive (shout out to my KH homies). But then they eventually rise up again, peek in happiness, and the cycles goes on over and over until they return to their home country. However, subsequent dives in mood and rises in stress become less and less extreme as time goes on. The first dive is called Culture Shock *dum dum DUM*.

But ya see, no one told me about the Deep Dive. When people said, "Watch out for that culture shock!", I assumed they meant I would be extremely surprised and put off by the cultural differences WHEN I GOT THERE. Not TWO MONTHS LATER. No one told me, "By the way, about halfway through the semester, you, and all your fellow exchange students for that matter, are going to feel like HELL and will want to come home IMMEDIATELY. But don't worry, it will pass."

No, no one, in all the orientations I went to, all the packets I read, told me that a couple months down the road, I would get emotionally totalled, I mean WREAKED, by the Deep Dive/Culture Shock. And since I'm a nice person, I'm warning all you prospective exchange students out there: a month or two into your delightful study abroad experience, you will get tired. Tired of having to deal with new surprises everyday, tired of struggling to do the simplest tasks like grocery shopping, tired of having people constantly staring at you (especially if you're a white girl in Japan). The newness will have worn off and the homesickness will set in: yeah, foreign food is great for a while, but you always eventually go back to burgers and fries, right? But when the burgers and fries are made by people who can't pronounce "French fries" (not their fault, but true), it's just not the same! So homesickness, fatigue, and stress from your increasing school load and living situation will build and build until you wonder, "Why the hell did I ever want to come to this stupid country or even study this ridiculous language? Get me outta here!!!" This is the Deep Dive.

But do not despair!!! For I tell you honestly, as someone who just survived it (and is now studying it for a midterm research paper), it passes! For me, it was about a month long. And yeah, that's how I really felt, but definitely not anymore. I have had to make some major adjustments in my life, and I still miss my mom's cooking and real hamburgers, but I do not regret coming to Japan. This year abroad is going to be an amazing experience, and even though I know there are still more dives ahead, now that I've gotten through the first big one, I know I can handle them. I'm going to be a much more resilient and adaptable person after this year.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to a lamb grill. Not what I'd eat at home, but hey, red meat!