Close Encounters of the Strange Kind

Okay, so, I wasn't going to mention this phenomenon, but it's happened to me twice in one month, so I'll go ahead and tell you:

If you thought the staring thing was weird, get ready for this: Japanese men have been randomly coming up to me and talking to me. It's... uncomfortable. The first time it happened, I was walking along Takeshita Street in Harajuku, doing a bit of shopping, and I was about to go into a shop when a mid- to late-twenty-something guy asked me, "Do you live here? In Tokyo?"

I said, "Yes," thinking he wanted directions or something. But then he asked, "Are you an exchange student?" I said yes, and he asked, "Waseda?", meaning Waseda University, Keio's rival school. So I corrected him, and he seemed taken aback, and obviously pleased said, "Oh, I am Keio, too," and explained that he was a graduate student.

This whole time, we were standing almost right in the entryway of the shop, and I kept trying to take another step in. Finally, I said, "I'm going to shop now," and I turned to go in. But he said, "Wait, can I get your contact info? Can we stay in touch?" gesturing with his cell phone.

The obvious answer was of course, "NO! I don't know you! I am not giving you my cell phone number!" but not wanting to be rude, and understanding that "no" is not a word you should really use in Japanese, I responded with "chotto..." which can be loosely translated in this context to mean "not really...", and I avoided eye contact. Then I said, "I'm going shopping now" more forcefully and went into the store.

Since it was the first time this had happened to me, and the guy was kind of creepy, I felt very uncomfortable. Not threatened or anything (he didn't try to move towards me or touch my arm or anything), but I was very obviously trying to go into the store, yet he remained rather persistent. I told my girlfriends about it when I got home, but then forgot about the incident.

Last Saturday, though, Maggie and I went shopping in Ikebukuro, a district where you can buy girls' comic books and there are some really fun shopping malls. We had finished shopping and were on our way to the station walking on a crowded street. Suddenly, a male student appeared on my left and said, "Sumimasen" (excuse me). I gave him my attention, and then he moved a little closer and asked me for the time. I told him, and then he asked, "Are you busy right now?" I was confused, but said, "I'm going home now" (all in Japanese). Then he asked, "Where do you live?"

When Maggie and I re-evaluated the conversation later, she said he was asking me where my house was located. I thought he was asking me what kind of residence I lived in because it's obvious I'm an exchange student and I am so not used to people asking for my address. So I told him I live in a student mansion (apartment complex).

He asked, "Do you have time now?" I wasn't sure what he wanted, so I asked, "Why?" He said, "I want to talk to you somewhere." I thought he maybe wanted to practice English conversation, because a lot of Japanese like to practice with native speakers, so I asked, "In English?" But then he replied, "Japanese is okay, too". And then I got confused and didn't know how to respond. Luckily, he suddenly noticed Maggie walking on my right side. He asked, "Oh, is this your friend?" and Maggie and I both responded that she was. Maggie said, "We're going home now" and pulled me toward the station entrance. I hadn't realized that we had reached it yet. The boy immediately gave up and continued walking with the crowd.

I was so confused at that point. I was just dazed. Maggie, on the other hand, couldn't stop laughing! She thought it was the funniest thing she had ever seen. We discussed it on the train, and she said she was sooo glad she was able to witness it. But she's sad that that will probably never happen to her because she's Asian, not white!

I felt a little bad afterward. He seemed like a nice, respectable student, and he didn't creep me out at all. I can't say I really understand why he wanted to talk to me somewhere (there are a variety of explanations, ranging from harmless to offensive), but I'm sure it took a lot of courage to come up and talk to me like that. He was very polite, and under normal circumstances (like, if we met on campus or something), I wouldn't have minded chatting with him at a cafe or something. But it's very confusing to have a stranger come up in the street and ask you such questions!

I don't know if the student and the creepy Harajuku dude had planned ahead of time to find a foreign girl and try to talk to her, or if these were spur-of-the-moment acts, but it's really not a good idea to try to start a conversation with a foreignor in the street. I'm sure they wouldn't approach a Japanese girl like that (no American guy has ever done that to me, at least), so I don't know if they think white girls are easy or more open to directness or what. But it doesn't work. Take notes, boys!